


Foreign Exchange Club-Episode 8: The Good, The Bad and the Dumpling

by egyptian



Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egyptian/pseuds/egyptian
Summary: Oh great, a Junko episode.





	Foreign Exchange Club-Episode 8: The Good, The Bad and the Dumpling

[Shot is from outside the school building. The principal is standing at the window looking outside. Cut to interior, where we're looking out with him. He turns and walks towards the coffee machine, revealing that he was watching Ming and Kumiko frantically running from the wild dogs that live on the school ground.]

Principal: (dryly) Ms. Asuhara, please call the wildlife people again. Those dogs are back.

[One of the other teachers in the room gets on the phone. Another walks in and smiles brightly]

Principal: Good morning Mrs. Godo.

Mrs. Godo: Good morning sir! How are you today?

[Principal takes out a bottle of vodka and adds a healthy amount to his coffee]

Principal: Just another day at the salt mine.

Mrs. Godo: Oh sir, it can't be that bad! The sun is shining, birds are singing. We're all healthy and doing a job we love. What could be wrong with that?

[There is a terrible crashing sound and the room can be seen to visibly shudder. The camera turns and we see that one of the office walls has fallen. We see Nanae, Gin and Kiku standing amongst the rubble. Nanae is holding a chainsaw.]

Gin: It's not what you think.

[Mrs. Gedo holds out her coffee cup, into which the principal pours some of the vodka]

[Roll opener]

[The principal is walking out to the back of the school with Mrs. Gedo. She looks to be rather upset, but he's in something of a fugue state.]

Mrs. Gedo: You didn't do anything!

Principal: I confiscated the saw and sent them to their class. What else should I do?

Mrs. Gedo: Punish them! Their behavior is inexcusable!

Principal: Do you think I haven't tried? No punishment is enough for those monsters! Everything I try makes them worse! Did you see the entry they put together for the science fair? I should have nailed the doors shut and burnt the building to the ground. But I didn't, and do you know why?

[The two of them walk up the steps to the Wheel of Calamity. The principal turns and we can see the Foreign Exchange Club and the Sakai S3s are gathered and waiting]

Principal: (looking at the wheel) Because of this glorious beast! Each week another challenge to hammer them down. Each week another piece of their pride is ground to dust beneath this mighty wheel. One more loss and they'll be unable to win the series. Their club will be abolished and I'll be free. (the corner of his mouth starts to curl into a smile) Yes, spin...spin away all their hopes and dreams. Spin until the world burns!

[The principal stops and clears his throat. Mrs. Gedo looks away uncomfortably, then gives the Wheel of Calamity a spin. It rolls past “Top Fuel Drag Race”, “Fight the Squid” and “Build Another Model Rocket” to stop on “Make the Perfect Dinner”]

Principal: ...what?

Junko: (jumping up and throwing her fist in the air) Yes! In your face Sakai! 

Sakai 1: What? Do you think you're a good cook or something?

Lynn: She doesn't think it..she /is/ a great cook!

Sakai 2: What do you know? You Americans throw ketchup and hot sauce on everything. You've got no taste at all!

[The principal whistles to get everyone's attention back]

Principal: If I can interrupt you ladies for a moment...on Friday we will have a special tasting here at Seifun High with several top chefs brought in to try your food. Each team will have it's own room in which to prepare their meal. The Foreign Exchange Club will go first and will begin cooking at 4:30 PM. Sakai High's meal will be second and they will be allowed to begin at 5:00 PM. Each team will have one hour only. You must provide your own ingredients but otherwise you'll be allowed to use your own imaginations as to what techniques and preparations you care to use. Any questions? (ignores several raised hands) No? Good! Good luck ladies. I suggest you spend some time planning your meal strategy, or possibly doing your home work for once.

Yayoi: Hey!

[The principal turns and walks off the stage, Mrs. Gedo close behind]

Mrs. Gedo: Hmm, I think they might surprise you this time with a win.

Principal: While there is very little that that band of hellions could do to surprise me, the creation of anything beautiful seems to be beyond their abilities.

Mrs. Gedo: You sell those girls short. They aren't as bad as you think.

Principal: Aren't they Mrs. Gedo? Lynn Tracy was at our school for less than a day. A top student, a polyglot with top marks in every course. It took them ONE DAY. One day to turn one of the brightest minds I've ever encountered into a criminal just like them. They're monsters. Monsters!

[Cut to Kiku and Shizu holding up a banner that reads “The Next Day”. A gust of wind comes along and both girls fall forward, cracking their heads together. Cut to the principal's office. Ming and Yayoi are standing in front of the principal's desk]

Principal: What do you mean gone missing?

Yayoi: Junko has been kidnapped!

Ming: She's not the type to miss classes...well, ever. She's too much of a goody two shoes.

Principal: And what precisely would you like me to do about it?

Yayoi: Call Sakai High and tell them to give her back. This is just the sort of thing they'd do.

Principal: I am not going to call the Principal of Sakai High and accuse his students of kidnapping without evidence!

Ming: Well you have to do something. You're the principal after all. You can't just sit behind that desk like nothing is happening.

[The Principal sighs. Cut to the doorway of the Tea Ceremony Club. The Principal is standing in the door. Cut to an interior shot where we can see the Tea Ceremony Girls sitting around their table, all looking up respectfully at the Principal]

Tea Club 1: Why no sir, we haven't seen Junko all day either.

[Cut to a facing shot of the Principal. Leaned up in the corner next to the door is a rolled up rug with duct tape holding the ends together. There's very clearly a pair of feet sticking out of the bottom of the rug. He looks right at the bundle and doesn't seem to realize what it is.]

Principal: Yes, well if you do happen to see Ms. Kandegawa please inform me right away.

Tea Club 1: Of course sir. You know we're always happy to help. Oh and one more thing...

Principal: (holding up his hand to stop her) Yes, I still have your application for the room. When and if the Foreign Exchange Club loses the challenge series your club is first in line for the big room at the end of the hallway.

[Cut to the Principal packing up his briefcase at the end of the day. He glances out the window, watching Kiku and Shizu chasing after one of the wild dogs, who has the school bag of one of the girls. He glances over at Ms. Asuhara, who is already dialing on the phone. He closes up his briefcase. Cut to Principal packed into a train with numerous others. Cut to Principal walking down a narrow alley. Cut to Principal walking up a rather dark and unsafe looking stairway. The principal steps over an abandoned bicycle, then excuses his way between two arguing men. He unlocks his door and goes into his apartment. Cut to the interior of his apartment. It is a spartan one room home, with a simple bed, a single chair and a small television sitting on a makeshift stand. He sits in the chair and lets out a long slow sigh. The man looks utterly beaten. Cut to the sun rising over the city. Cut to the front of Seifun. The Principal is walking up the front steps when Lynn and Oki pass him carrying a rather large fish]

Oki: Please excuse us!

Lynn: Can someone get the door?

[The principal holds the door open for the girls, who wrangle the bundle into the building]

Principal: Where did you ever get such a large fish? (his brow lowers) Do I want to know?

Oki: I caught it! My father is a professional fisherman, so I was able to borrow a boat from him. 

Principal: Really? That's very impressive that you two could land such a large and powerful fish.

Oki: Oh it wasn't so hard.

[Cut to Oki and Lynn in a small boat. Lynn is desperately trying to keep the boat under control in the terrible weather they're caught in. Oki has the huge fish halfway into the boat. It's still putting up a terrible fight. Oki raises a boat oar above her head dramatically]

Oki: I love you, but I must kill you!

Lynn Voiceover: Sir?

[Cut back to the hallway where the Principal is standing with the two girls]

Lynn: Are you okay?

Principal: Oh, yes I'm fine thank you.

Oki: We had better hurry. We don't want this to spoil. Thanks for your help!

[The two girls continue to wrestle the fish down the hallway. The principal continues walking towards his office. He passes two members of the Tea Ceremony Club. They have a large steamer trunk between them. The lid is slightly ajar and it's clear that someone is inside. As the principal approaches one of the girls sits in the lid and we hear a muffled cry from inside the trunk. The principal is of course oblivious to this and walks up the stairs to his office. When he enters the office the teachers are all looking a little nervous. An older gentleman is standing at the Principal's desk waiting patiently]

Principal: Principal Kozu! To what do I owe the honor of this visit?

Kozu: Good morning! I just thought I would stop by and let you know that I have completed my part of the arrangements for Friday's challenge. The judging will be taken care of by chefs from three top chefs who will be in from Kyoto.

Principal: Ah, very good, but isn't that a long way for them to come just to judge a high school contest?

Kozu: Oh, they're old friends of mine so I don't think they will be bothered.

Principal: Old friends? You don't think that will seem a bit suspicious?

Kozu: I don't think so. These are good men. They won't tip their hand.

Principal: Yes, I see.

[Mrs. Gedo looks troubled. She steps forward and interrupts the two men]

Mrs. Gedo: Sir! I think this is a terrible mistake!

Kozu: Excuse me, but who is this?

Principal: Mrs. Gedo!

Mrs. Gedo: Hear me out! Those girls may have given you more than their share of trouble in tha past, but even with their backs to the wall and poor Junko missing they are still working very hard to win this challenge. It isn't right to cheat them like this.

Principal: Mrs. Gedo, don't you see that getting rid of the Foreign Exchange Club is to everyone's benefit? They will all be better off if they're forced to separate. They will have to become normal hardworking students like everyone else, instead of huddling up in that room of theirs and plotting trouble.

Ms. Asuhara: I think you're missing the real issue here. What do you suppose they will do if they find out that this contest has been fixed from the very beginning. They've pulled their fair share of pranks and caused trouble just for the sake of relieving their boredom. What do you suppose they will do when they discover that they have a real enemy? Can you imagine what they will do?

[The principal and Principal Kozu both start to look very nervous]

Ms. Asuhara: Do not create a monster you cannot kill.

Mrs. Gedo: Yes, please, give them a fair chance! They're already so far behind Sakai High they probably can't win the contest. If they lose fairly they can at least have their pride and maybe build on that to become good citizens.

[The principal looks at Principal Kozu. Kozu shrugs and starts to leave]

Kozu: Do whatever you think you need to do. It's too late to find new judges of course.

[Closeup of the Principal's face. The background changes and the principal is upstairs, outside the Foreign Exchange Club]

Principal voiceover: Why am I here? I know what I'm doing is right, don't I?

Mrs. Gedo's Voice: Give them a fair chance!

Principal: No, that's not it.

Ms. Asuhara's Voice: What do you suppose they will do when they discover that they have a real enemy?

Principal: Hmm, that's more likely. 

[The principal is right outside the door now. He can hear the girls inside talking]

Gin: If only we'd thought to kidnap the linchpin of their operation first, then we'd be the ones with the advantage!

Lynn: That's awful. How can you think such things?

Gin: It's easy if you practice. I think ten awful things each morning before I even get out of bed, just to keep my mind sharp.

Maya: Can we focus on what we're doing here? Until we find out what happened to Junko we'll just have to go on and do everything ourselves. 

Lynn: Good thing we have another member who can cook!

Maya: No! You mustn't!

Shizu: Lynn, please no! Your food is deadly to Japanese people!

Lynn: You guys just don't know what's good!

Kumiko: We'll just have to count on Nanae, Yayoi and Ming to find Junko. We're going to have to put out something absolutely stunning if we're going to influence Sakai's hand-picked judges.

[The principal puts his hand over his mouth, looking fearful]

Principal: They know? But how could they? (he thinks a moment) I should say something to them.

[The principal knocks once, then opens the door and steps inside. Cut to a closeup of the principal's ankle catching on a tripwire, which sets a bell to ringing. A pail falls over his head and we see a horrible green sludge slowly running down his face.]

Kiku: Our spy trap worked!

[The principal slowly lifts the bucket up off of his head, then looks down into the pail]

Principal: What in the world?

Kumiko: It's jalapeno.

[The principal suddenly contorts in pain, clutching his eyes. Cut to the room where the tasting is to take place. The principal's eyes still look puffy and red. Principal Kozu is there as well, as are the three celebrity chefs. Kumiko is walking up to the table]

Kozu: Are you sure you're alright?

Principal: Oh I think I'll be okay.

Kozu: (pats him on the shoulder reassuringly) Don't worry, you've got at least one good meal to look forward to!

Kumiko: Excuse me sirs. I would like to make a request.

Principal: What's the matter Ms. Sasaki? Is your team not ready?

Kumiko: I'm afraid not. Our cook was..delayed.

Kozu: Now now, if you're asking us to delay the contest..

Kumiko: Oh no! We would just like to go after Sakai High's S3 Group makes their presentation.

Kozu: This is very irregular. You had all week to prepare for today and it's only just now that you've decided that you don't have enough time? No, we can't have this. 

Principal: I'm inclined to agree with Principal Kozu. We can't change the terms of the contest at the last moment.

[Kumiko looks a little frustrated. Then Nanae and Junko walk in and step up next to her. Nanae looks like she's been in a fight. Junko looks like someone who spent a day rolled up in a rug. Junko looks a bit upset]

Junko: Please sirs! All the members of my team worked very hard, but they just aren't very good. Don't punish them because I was..er..detained. Give me a chance!

One of the Chefs: (smiling) Kozu, I don't see a problem if we let her go right after Sakai. The best food will win out regardless, right?

Kozu: (putting on a good face for his friend) Oh, I suppose it'll be alright.

Principal: If Kozu agrees then I have no objection.

[The girls cheer and run out of the room. Nanae is the last out. The principal stops her before she leaves.]

Principal: (hushed voice) Was Junko actually kidnapped?

Nanae: That's not a question I can answer.

Principal: She was, wasn't she? You went and rescued her, didn't you?

Nanae: That's not a question I can answer.

Principal: What happened? Did you...do something to them?

[Cut to montage. One Sakai girl sticking halfway out of a garbage can. Cut to Sakai girl sticking out of a wall. Cut to a Sakai girl being chased by the wild dogs, with Ming holding the leash on them. Cut to Sakai girls trying to flee out a window, with Yayoi chasing them with a shinai. Cut back to the principal and Nanae]

Nanae: We protected the school's honor. Someone has to.

[Nanae turns and leaves. The principal looks a little shaken. He walks across the room and looks out the window. We see the Sakai girls form a human pyramid. A catering truck pulls up, then one by one they raise trays up the pyramid to a handy window. The principal returns to his chair and sits down]

Kozu: Are you alright?

Principal: No, I don't think I am.

[Cut to a wide shot. The Sakai girls bring in tray after tray of perfectly prepared, artfully arranged sushi and sashimi. There's a small fortune in fish laying on the table in front of the judges and principals, who all dig in eagerly. They all seem fairly happy with the food]

Kozu: This is very good! A stunning effort!

Principal: (seeming less impressed) Yes, it's good.

Celeb Chef 1: This is what I would expect of a restaurant-quality chef, not a group of high school girls. Good job!

Sakai Girl 1: You are all very kind.

[The Sakai girls move to the side as Junko wheels in a cart. The rest of the Foreign Exchange Club files in behind her, watching anxiously]

Kozu: I have to say, you'll have to do quite well if you want to top that!

Celeb Chef #2: What do you have for us miss?

Junko: Well fortunately I had plenty of time this week to think about what I wanted to cook. Fortunately I was able to gather what I needed at the very last moment and bring this meal together.

[Junko pulls a cover off a tray, revealing what looks like very pedestrian sweetfish tempura and rice. The chefs and principals look at the plates incredulously]

Kozu: Well I think I know who has the best presentation at least.

Celeb chef 1: Oh Kozu, at least taste it first. The poor girl worked very hard.

Principal: Indeed. 

Junko: Oh it wasn't just me! I had a lot of help setting up the kitchen, getting the fish and making the rice. Everyone shares credit for this job.

Principal Voiceover: (looking at the plate) Alright, you just have to eat a few bites for appearances sake. The girls will lose, their club can be abolished and we can all get on with our lives.

[The principal puts a bite of the sweetfish in his mouth. His eyes go wide and we see his pupils dilate. The chorus from Ode to Joy starts playing. All five gentlemen look absolutely shocked and awed. The building and floor crumbles away as the music swells, all five of them linking hands and flying into a sky filled with wonderous color and glorious light. Tears stream from their eyes as they fly into the heavenly light. Cut back to the table.]

Chef #1: (ripping off his chef's hat and throwing it out the window) I am a sham! I do not deserve to call myself a chef any longer!

Chef #3: My life up to this moment is a lie! I am a lie! How dare I cook for others?

Chef #2: (walks around table and kneels before Junko, then hands her his chef's knife) Please, take this knife. May it serve you well. I deserve to wield it no longer!

Kozu: (to Principal) How could this happen? Everything was perfect! 

Principal: Well clearly...

Kozu: Seifun wins! The Foreign Exchange Club wins! How it hurts me to say those words, yet I must! Noone could lie about food such as this! God would strike us down!

[The principal gets up and starts to walk out of the room. He looks over the members of the Foreign Exchange Club and gives them the most subtle of nods. He pauses as he passes them. He takes Yayoi's kangol hat off her head and hands it to her]

Principal: You know the rules. We still have a dress code you know.

[The principal walks out of the room while the girls celebrate. A moment later he runs back in, grabs the tray with the rest of the sweetfish and runs back out. Cut to the principal back at his house, watching tv and eating the fish.]

Principal: I suppose it can't hurt if they win, even if it's just once.

[Roll closer]


End file.
